Thursday, January 6, 2011


Its been a crummy dumb day.
Have you ever read Punchinello?
You know...the dots vs. stars book?
I so get that you can't let them stick.
I really do.
I think.

But when it comes to those that need you.
Really really need you.
And you just don't have what it takes.
Then what.
I don't want their dots or stickers,
just their smiles,
But Slumzy came knocking at my door again.
And then the blue-zy blues.
Not because I am sad, or ungrateful.
Because I am just not enough.
This body of mine, just isn't what it used to be.

I used to dream of traveling the world,
interviewing great minds and hearts alike,
Now, I dream that I will have the energy
to coach Savannah's basketball team,
And take River to swimming,
and Malia to gymnastics,
and make a beautiful, balanced meal,
that my family can eat in a clean and organized home.

But River is swimming,
and six months ago, I thought I would never
see him active again.
I held him, and reassured him, and drove him to 
a billion doctors...
and made him go to school, when I wanted to shelter him,
and made him run on the treadmill when he was exhausted,
and helped him with his homework when he was discouraged.

Ya.  That's my star for the day and I am going to let it stick.
Time heals.  Time teaches.


  1. Great post.

    I needed to read that today. :)

  2. Hey Holly, Punchinello is one of my favorite books in the whole world! Such a beautiful lesson is taught within its pages.

    It seems like everyone's shoulders are heavy these days...maybe it's the darn winter blues. May that star and many others stick!! I do believe that dreams come true, so keep some of those other ones alive!! You are a rockstar!! Love and hugs

  3. you say things so much better than i can when i think the same things!! it's hard some days and i know exactly what you mean about wanting to do so much and not feeling like you can accomplish it!

  4. I love this and River is so lucky to have such a wonderful mother. Just for that, you deserve a gold star every day for a lifetime.

  5. remember you always have a gold star stuck on your shoulder from ME! and there is always more than one there from our father in heaven who loves us. Thank you for all you do for me. Because of you (and my other BP sisters) I know I always have a star on my shoulder too, and a bluebird from you! We are always connected to each other and my love for you knows no distance. I am amazed at what you have done for River. He is so blessed to have you as his mother. Crummy will end and better is around the corner .... I promise!