Joy

My happy thought for the day.
Because it's Monday, and I always need a happy thought on Monday.

Wishing you a very good night.

Sweet dreams~

A Big Yellow Taxi

This weekend brought me:
A Big yellow Taxi~

I love finding unusual things.
It is not every day in this 
suburban/minivan/sports car town,
you see a Big yellow Taxi.


It reminded me of Jon Travolta and Danny Davido...
Remember that show?  I loved that show.
It also reminded me of the old Carly simon song:
"A big Yellow Taxi"


Hey farmer farmer, put away your ddt now~
Given me spots on my apples, and even birds on the tree now~
Don't it always seem to go...
that you don't know what you got till it's gone...


So with one of my favorite songs 
playing in my head, I went about having
a very nice day with my family.
"Because you don't know what you got till its gone"~

We drove to Sandy for errands.
It's the only way to avoid bumping into patients,
which of course, Dr. Garrett doesn't mind.  It just
gets a bit awkward for me and the kids to stand and
smile patiently while someone complains about their
blood pressure, back pain...or bowl habits, 
(yup..).


We stopped by our favorite place to eat.
(Actually Dr. Garrett's place...I prefer something more foreign)...because I am oh so very sophisticated.


Souper Salad 

Though I must say, I am always happy to go to this place, Just for the 

Ginger muffins.

Oh the ginger muffins...perfect.

Dr. Garrett tells me my bowel habits would be better if I ate more salad,

and drank more water.  I wish I had a picture of Dr. Garrett's water jug. I really should take a picture.

He drinks 2-3 gallons a day.  Every day.

I say he can keep his own bowel habits~

I am happy with my ginger muffin.

But I sure am glad he is next to me.

"Because you don't know what you got till its gone"~

There were a bunch of seagulls in the 

Walmart parking lot.  It made me dream of 

walking on the beach...for a brief moment.

Because that is where I think Seagulls belong.

Not at the garbage dump...or the Walmart trash bins.

I think they are much to pretty to be scavaging for garbage.

Later on...

We had movie night.  

And After the kids fought over who sat closest to mom and Dad,

We snuggled up and watched an old

Cowboy show...The Fabulous Seven.

I love old Cowboy shows.

I love old Cowboy's

Especially this one...

Sunday brought it's own beauty.

We went to grandma and grandpa Smith's house.

We Love that house.

And we Love their land even more.

I brought my camera so I could take pictures

of Grandpa giving tractor rides, the grandkids love tractor rides...but I think Grandpa does too.

Then my darn camera battery died.

stupid battery.

But there will be a next time...I hope.

Because, after all..."you don't know what you got till it's gone."

The Message behind the Madness

Every Sunday

(almost)

We loose our religion

getting to church~

And when we finally arrive

(late)

We tiptoe

(like a heard of elephants)

Into our chairs~

Definitely not benches...

because

Benches are for the righteously deserving

bunch that arrive

 to church on Time.

And without fail~

When I finally get a chance 

to glance

at my elephants...

Inevitably I see...

A missing sock

A mop of hair that didn't quite get combed

A milk mustache

A bow that doesn't match

(who am I kidding?...My daughters don't even wear bows)

Dirt behind an ear

or

last weeks snack on my sons white shirt~

I giggle

Just a little

(but not so much)

Because I am feeling like a great big

Looser

(with a capital L)

By this time, I sure could use a drink

but I don't drink

So I sit and think think think...

Hence the Sacrament...

There really must be something in the water~

Because I start to remember

what I'm supposed to remember 

and forget

What I'm supposed to forget~

And I pray

for the healing water to wash me clean

to clear my slate for one more day

one more week...

to make me new again~

Because that is the point

behind the Madness...

The reason I do it again and again

week after week

crying toddlers, sleepy teenagers

and all~

Because...I Need to be reminded 

of what I Never...Ever...want to forget~

And I start to see with 

the eyes of a man so pure...

he died for me~

 With renewed vision, I can see beyond

the Betty Crockers

and the Cindy Crawfords

The Cleavers..the Achievers

The scholars and the silent~

I see people just like me

wanting~striving~searching

To be so much more~

I see a "peculiar people"

The people of my father 

and his father

and his father's father~

whose faith was deeper than the river's

they crossed, so that I may sit on a chair

or a bench each week~

~and it will not be in vein~

People

laying down their weaknesses, their

mishaps and their clumsy mistakes

at the Saviors feet...

And I love them for it~

And I am proud and humble

in the same breath 

to sit among these people

Bench or no bench~

I remember that it is within the walls

of this school where

the hopeless find hope

The proud make peace with their pride...

and the sinner in all Of us

remembers the way home~

Home to him that gives me hope...

That one day

I'll get myself a bench~

Sweet dreams

Thank you Father

For one more day...

with your children

Please help me return them to you

Once more...

and if River goes toilet papering with his friends tonight

please give him a swift kick in the okole!

Dear Mr. Toothfairy

Dear Mr.(or miss) Tooth fairy: 
Next time my baby looses her tooth

Could you Please remember to take the tooth from under the pillow when you leave the money?

oh...and would it be to much to ask you to leave it on the First night?
Stupid Stupid Toothfairy~

Shattered Plates

Today~
I am going to have a happy day.
A happy, beautiful, brilliant day.


But I know there are some that won't.


My Brother's nephew was killed in a car 
accident yesterday.  I don't know him.  But I know
His aunt Becky, my brothers wife, and she is
Brave and Beautiful.


Today...
My friends father is dying.  I don't know him
but I know his daughter and she is Brave and Beautiful too.


I have known loss and heartache and grief,
that could never be spoken of on these pages~


Because their mine...
and now their Gods...
Because I gave them to him.
With the help of his Son.


But...
Before he took them from me...
He let me feel them until I thought my heart 
would shatter in a million Pieces.


Just like the plate mom shattered 
at her cancer retreat.  The host let her pick out a beautiful antique plate~
My mother loved Antiques...


And then she was given a hammer and told to break it...
into a million pieces.


"This is your life" they told her...
and she felt sad, angry and hopeless.
Then they brought out the morter and told her to create something beautiful out of it.
And she did.  But she was still a little sad.  A lot sad.




"This is your new life"...
This shattered plate has been made beautiful again.
Different than you ever dreamed.  But beautiful non the less. 


Why? Why do they call grief...heartache?
Because Everything aches~
Your stomach
your neck
your head
your throat...I call this piano throat, because that is what you swallow when you swallow grief.
Even your breath. Every single breath you take...
feels like your lungs will collapse.


I have beautiful women in my life, that know first hand what it feels like to shatter a plate.

But those are their stories to share.  They shared them with me and I will never Ever be the same.
They are my sisters.  Because you can't glue a plate back together without Sisters.


And I will never forget the cold winter~
They got on a plane...
And brought me Spring.

This one is for you~
And for all of my sisters that make my plate whole again...every single day.

Stop This Train~

~Stop This Train~

When I was just eighteen

I stuck my head out of a moving Train

I watched the day turn into night

With the wind in my face...

And I loved it~

I had a cheap cassette tape walkman

(wow...that dates me)

And it played Enya

over and over and...

over again~

Enya was my inspiration

and with every note

I wrote

The story of my life...

And oh what a story it would be~

and the train rolled on

First stop...

Romainia

Where I worked in the orphanages...

I was going to save all of the children 

and become the next MOTHER TERESA~

and now every night I pray that I can save my own...

And then...

I decided that when I was done saving

the children...

I would write for the Associated Press~

I would bring just to the unjust...

Galvanize quite heroes...

and

Bring politicians to there knees~

and the Train rolled on

and now

The politicians bring me to my knees...

I was going to change the world~

now I hope I can change my sheets...

at least once a week~

And Then

 I met a boy with a yankees hat

and a great big smile~

and the Train moved on

only on a different track...

Turned out

He was a dreamer

just like me

We vowed we would never live in

a box brown house and 

drive black and white cars

and establish a routine

of any kind...

So we packed our bags and set out for

Adventure~

and boy did we have some...

But soon

The adventures seemed 

Empty

and the clock started ticking~

and the train moved on...

And one day the letter came...

Accepted at last!

(med school)

and we were Happy...

but we were also kind of sad~

Then the babies came~

And the flowers grew

and the wind blew...

But there were some Doozers

ie:intense emotional discussions 

(A very generous term for poor communication skills)

There were days when

Garrett was up to his elbows in

Cadavours

and I was up to mine in

Laundry...

That I would look at pictures

from far away places

and wonder~

Just wonder~

And there was the night

After three years of Medical school

That Garrett informed me he was joining the

Coast Gaurd

And I laughed...

Then I cried...

And Garrett lauphed

Then he cried~

Then we both cried together~

and the Train moved on...

and the babies kept comming..

And we bought a Brown house

and two white cars...

And we have dinner everyday

at 6:30

and Saturday movie nights...

And instead of exploring the world together~

we explore the minds of our four

Beautiful

Children~

~And We have never been so happy~

(Except, of course, on our no good, very bad..terribly awful days)
~And boy do we have them~

Funny thing

~Life~

It puts you on a train and takes you 

to all of the places you think you want~

And then brings you back to your

~Heart~