Monday, March 22, 2010

Pruning my way back home~

Today I chose
courage enough
to let my neighbors see my floor

Because I am learning that my love for my neighbors
has nothing to do
with my icky...sticky...floor
or my not so clean carpet~
But it has everything to do with my capacity to love
in the face of my own insecurity~

A while ago I was living in a constant state
of stress and chaos.
Mostly inside of my head
My very noisy mind refused to relinquish its control
over my spirit~
over my soul~

I was painfully tired everyday...

Everything became nothing~
and nothing became everything~

But then I had a conversation with God~
He told me to prune my tree
That I might grow and produce the fruit of
peace and priority~

So one branch at a time~

I pruned back the chaos~

I let go of what I could not control~

And put my Ego to rest~

And day by day
God showed me what was real~
What was meaningful
and what wasn't~

I committed to put first things first~
Family, Friends
and time for quite moments 
to reflect...
on Gods plan for me~

I forgot about myself
and rediscovered...
that which I had all along~

Today I had lunch with my mother in law
We ate mexican food 
and complained about health care and
high fructose corn syrup~
I listened to her views on politics and freedom
as Henry played with the chips and salsa
It felt so right to connect in such a simple way to a woman
that has so much to teach me~

It felt so right to be next to her~
Instead of staying home and mourning for my own mother~

Mom keeps telling me to stop waiting for her to
"show up"
Because there are woman all around me
that want to mother me~

So I will listen

I love you Kathy~

Lunch with Dad Tomorrow
I am one blessed woman~ 


  1. goodness lady.

    your words were just what i needed to hear today.

    i totally understand the "noise in your head." i'm thinking i need to get on my knees more.


  2. Holly, that was beautiful. It is amazing how the Lord can help us emerge from hardship, stronger and deeper and more thoughtful than before and then we become more comfortable with the things we cannot change and more enamored with the small wonders around us. I love reading about your journey.

  3. you are blessed and there are wonderful woman around you and i am happy that you are relenting control of your sticky floor and pruning!! love hearing your words! and love your tree pictures!!