Today I took a risk.
I stepped away from life as I know it, got in a car with my dad and drove to a hotel with the single intention of putting on my grey wool sweater, my funky glasses and writing my novel. I get three days. I have dreamed about this day for months now...but never thought I would have the courage to actually do it. It is not totally embraced yet...the idea of a mother and a wife leaving her family for a few days to do something as silly and seemingly selfish as write a novel, but there is a story within me and I have a goal to have the first draft completed by december 31...and at the rate I am going it won't be finished until december 31...2020 unless I do something drastic, so it is a risk I must take.
And I might add...my children are adorably giddy with the idea that their mother could write a novel, and their belief in me has disarmed all fear of being judged. And dear Garrett, thank you for taking the time of to support me in this venture...I hope I can pay you back BIG time some day...(oh but wait...this is my pay back:)
This risk was meant to be in silence. In fact, I slipped out of the house tonight without a peep or an unwanted person knowing...for good reason I have kept this quiet. But now as I sit in this cold and dark hotel room, I want to journal this journey; My every thought and stirring emotion, my journey if you will, of learning how to fall into my words all over again. My journey to finding the creator in me.
I want you to take it with me, you being my family and ohana and speckle of local friends that actually read this blog. (If you are my neighbor please don't stop inviting me to parties:)
I love you all and I want to take yet another risk by sharing my heart with you...it is sort of a momentum for me...a baby step if you will. Journaling this way helps me sweat out all pretenses and vein ambitions of my ego...taking me to my heart...and that is where I want to be when I write.
So here I go. Hope to hear from you.