Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sinner or saint

I feel like a mustard seed this morning.

How is it that we mortals can go from,
wanting to take Latin dancing to...
I just want to stay in bed all day~
(sigh) (big big sigh)

You know why I want to take that class?
Because my kids need to see me experience joy.
If I can't teach them joy...or better yet, bring
out the joy that is already inside of them;
who will?

I hide behind dishes and mom duties to much, Tasks
I really do take joy in, (the days I am healthy),
but that is not what I want to be remembered for.

I want my kids to know a mother who relishes in life,
delights in new experiences, and inspires them to do 
the same.

And perhaps, I am stretching it a bit...but I think
Heavenly Father wants that for his children too.
Men are that they might have joy?

Is it possible that he desires us to delight in his
creations...just as much as we hope he delights in 

I don't want to stay safe, certainly that means I open
myself up to judgment...which, I suppose will give me
the chance to teach my children the power of living an 
Unapologetic life. (but what do I know about that anyway?)

But Really, do I have faith in this idea?  Or will I 
hide behind the fear that Plugging along is
my destiny?

Does the mustard seed really grow into a tree?  
I just don't see it today, perhaps it will only
grow if it is duty bound and not distracted by
silly things like Latin dancing:)

However, Garrett did agree to classes... so I guess
I will just have to dance my noisy mind away:)
sinner or saint:)


  1. I would say you are human and we humans must push through the dull drum days so that we can find those sporadic glorious days. Don't be too hard on yourself. When you feel like a tiny mustard seed that can't possibly grow into a tree, just remember that with God all things are possible - even Latin dancing classes. Maybe God loves Latin dancing too. :)I want to see pictures!

  2. you are so hard on yourself with your daily battles! if you feel like dancing dance, if you feel like staying in bed, gather the kids and a movie. i do know what you mean though, my whole life has been safe and i am thinking i need to show my kids i am not just "the mom" even though i am proud of all i have done to be there for them in raising them! maybe take one class and see how it goes!
    love you!

  3. yes, i totally agree that heavenly father wants us to have joy! the world is our playground.

    take those classes. you'll feel good about yourself, and i'm sure you'll be happy you did them. plus when momma's happy everyones happy!

    love you!

  4. Dance your life away:-) Thank you for the post. It's very inspiring and I hope I can look back and hope I've lived an unapologetic life...after I figured out how to do that:-)