Sinner or saint

I feel like a mustard seed this morning.


How is it that we mortals can go from,
wanting to take Latin dancing to...
I just want to stay in bed all day~
(sigh) (big big sigh)


You know why I want to take that class?
Because my kids need to see me experience joy.
If I can't teach them joy...or better yet, bring
out the joy that is already inside of them;
who will?


I hide behind dishes and mom duties to much, Tasks
I really do take joy in, (the days I am healthy),
but that is not what I want to be remembered for.


I want my kids to know a mother who relishes in life,
delights in new experiences, and inspires them to do 
the same.


And perhaps, I am stretching it a bit...but I think
Heavenly Father wants that for his children too.
Men are that they might have joy?


Is it possible that he desires us to delight in his
creations...just as much as we hope he delights in 
ours?


I don't want to stay safe, certainly that means I open
myself up to judgment...which, I suppose will give me
the chance to teach my children the power of living an 
Unapologetic life. (but what do I know about that anyway?)


But Really, do I have faith in this idea?  Or will I 
hide behind the fear that Plugging along is
my destiny?


Does the mustard seed really grow into a tree?  
I just don't see it today, perhaps it will only
grow if it is duty bound and not distracted by
silly things like Latin dancing:)


However, Garrett did agree to classes... so I guess
I will just have to dance my noisy mind away:)
sinner or saint:)
Holly