I haven't been sleeping...Again.
Just Like you. I remember waking up in the
middle of the night, often, to find you
in the garden or in the kitchen...
making bread or breakfast granola.
I miss your granola.
I keep having this dream that you never
really died, and when I see you, I apologize
for arranging the funeral. And, I wonder
how to tell everyone that your still here...not on the other side.
But you hug me anyway. I miss your great big hugs.
And I no longer feel stupid
for arranging your funeral.
You tell me to throw a big party
and celebrate your life, not mourn it.
So today I will celebrate your life,
instead of wishing for one more year with you.
I will celebrate a few of my favorite things:
1)I remember, the day you made me a pair of "traffic" jeans, and suprised
me with an E.T shirt and Cindarella shoes. I rode my bike to school
and my new pants got caught in the chain, and I couldn't budge them
away. A situation that was soon amplified when "The bell boy's"
( a whole other story), dog bit me. There was no one to help me, so I
prayed you there. And you came...just in the nick of time.
You always showed up just in the nick of time.
2)I remember, the summer day you ran out back and jumped into the baby pool with me...clothes, rollers, and all. I started splashing and you splashed back...
and I will always love you for that~
3)I remember the day Henry was born. My nurse was awful, we affectionatly called her the Inflicter.
I was 35 weeks, fully effaced and dialated to a 4. And though I was having contractions every three minutes, she refused to give me an epedural. She claimed it was because she didn't want to "encourage" the baby to come,
(well duh...the baby was comming sweetheart...(or not so sweetheart.)
The pain soon overwhelmed me. Next thing I knew, you were rippin the nurse a new one. I loved the mama bear in you. I got my epadural with in minutes.
4) I remember our sleepovers. In your last year you were too ill to do much.
So you invited me to sleep over, often. We would snuggle up, just like we did when I was a child, watch home and garden t.v, play cards, laugh and cry...happy cries.
I always came home renewed, because...How can you not? Everyone that left you felt renewed, because you listened. You went all the way with me...until all my fears, and insecurities vanished. That is a rare quality...one I hope I will master some day.
You never gave advice, instead you conveyed trust in me. And, I will always love
you for that, because advice is highly overrated.
5)I remember so much more than this post can handle...so I will sum it all up with my favorite things you taught me~
Live life intentionally.
Teach through love.
Hope for faith.
Give your heart fully...because love is recyclable.
Know your Savior.
And always put on a fresh coat of lipstick, when you hear your husbands car pull in~