This morning my emotions came
all undone. I have held my head up
with peace and confidence throughout
the last 8 weeks, but seeing River lay
in bed day after day is killing me.
In my effort to remain positive I have
kept my emotions in check... all along
knowing that I was trying to outrun
This morning the Avalanche came
crashing down. I asked River if
I could invite some of his friends
over to play card games. He said
I started to cry, I don't like him to
see me cry...but the damn just wouldn't
wait for a better time.
If you won't do it for yourself than do it
for me River... please, you can't isolate
yourself like this.
He started to cry.
I'm sick mom. I can't. People will
think I am weird if they see me this
I went down the hallway into the
guest room. I just had to get my
emotions in check.
I laid on the bed, next to my mother's
picture. I just looked at her and sobbed.
Feelings of doubt and fear were choking
my faith... I just needed her to tell
me what to do. Then I allowed myself
to get good and angry at her for leaving
me so soon. She would know how to
help him through this.
Then River walked in, I opened up my
arms just like mother would do and
held him tight.
"Let's call my friends, I guess I can play
board games if I just sit at the table."
So with crazy joy I went to WalMart
and cleaned out the junk food department.
River has the greatest friends in the world,
they came and made River laugh and smile,
oh I have missed that smile.
Yes the avalanche came falling,... but then
God sent in his search and rescue team...
2 amazing boys...Daxton and Parker,
followed the beacon and brought
their shovels (or risk game).
to the rescue~
And River they did that, because they
love and miss you SO much.
They played games, and laid on the couch
in such a way that made it easy for River,
they are just so darn cute.
Then when all was said and done, River
walked to the laundry room and said:
"Mom... thanks for making me do that,
it was kind of cool, and not as scary
as I thought it would be.
I love you."
I love you River...
I am so inspired by your courage
and strength... you will always be
my strong, soldier boy.
keep lacing up your boots,
because god has plans for you.
Thank you for taking a "risk" today.
I know it was not easy.
Primary children's hospital... Just can't get enough.
And thank you all so much for your prayers. I really
believe we have been blessed because of them.