Sunday, October 16, 2011

Knowing eyes...

It was a Beautiful weekend,
I had two days in a row with no nausea,
and the best part...
I can now eat applesauce and sherbet
with out my colon confusing it for a porcupine.

Today I woke up determined to go to Sacrament,
There has never been a better time for me
to teach my children where to turn 
when all the leafs fall.
but I must say
It's always quite the dance trying to get our family
to church on time,
and I was having so many issues with my jackypack,
that I almost wondered as I sat down in my seat
with my tubes all tangled around me
if it was really worth the possible risk of 
infection that I was risking.

But then I realized that...
behind us sat my dear friend,
who lost her child this week. She was
Stoic in her faith and in her spirit, but
her swollen eyes carried the burden of her
grief and her faith.

I call them "knowing" eyes.
Knowing eyes are earned like a purple heart
to a brave soldier 
Both an honor and a burden they carry....
The honor of knowing they are on the Lords errand...
and the burden of the price they
paid to see life a new.

In front of us sat a family that lost their child
in another way. 
In in her eyes I saw the "knowing" as well.

I hope I have earned my Knowing eyes,
The eyes that see past the weariness,
arrogance and weakness of others,
I hope my eyes can pierce right through
silly shallow agendas
straight into the heart of those I care about.
So I can love them and serve them
in their language.

I hope I can give my children knowing eyes
and then I remember they must
earn them, through their own heartaches,
the thought makes me sad,
thinking of my children suffering in any way,
I bet it hurts God too.

* Here are some pics from our drive up to Sundance today.

Two blue birds joined us.
I think they were a love note from mom...
My dinner: apple sauce, cucumber slices:)
and Jacky pack...


  1. (((HUGS))) I can't say anything. Just (((HUGS))) and a few tears. I realize what your children are going through...they have their own little sets of "knowing eyes"...I promise.
    I love you my friend.

    Debbi Edmonds

  2. i can't believe you are well enough to get out to church! it makes me so happy you just haven't eaten in over a month! i am glad you are getting a little food down though!
    you say everything perfectly! so sorry for whoever it is that lost their child, we know how devastating that is!
    keep up your blog, i love it!

  3. That look on Henry's face is priceless! The joy of being a child with little care in the world.

    I'm so happy to see that you've been out and about! Hooray for enjoying nature!