Walk with me~

Forgive me dear friends and family

for not being so good at the updating.

I know many of you have been praying, watching, fasting

for answers.

I don't really have any for you today.

In fact if you are looking for numbers and medical explanations

I am no good for that either.

I keep waiting to write when I feel better

or when I have answers..

but I don't

(at least the medical ones)

and the memo I am getting from upstairs

is telling me to stop waiting

and to get to work.

I am sick.

I have not eaten in five weeks,

I have have gone through two feeding tubes

and a pick line 

that now feeds me

1800 calories a day.

I am home after being in the hospital

for three weeks on and off.

And I can tell you with certainty 

that there is no place like home.

That pretty much covers it.

The organ of the day is the pancreas,

it has been very moody and has thrown a great big old tantrum,

 My immune system 

has declared mutiny as well

So with the two ganging up on me I can pretty much say

I have had one foot in Hell

and one in Heaven.

I had a friend express her experience just like that once.

I thought I understood then.

But now I do so even more.

I have had moments of sheer anguish,

that have weighed me to this world,

and moments of sacred, beautiful peace..

That could only come from my father in Heaven

who is carrying me

and my family

and he has done it through each of you.

My prayer is that I can share my experience 

in a way

that can remind, renew and rest

all of you in your daily journey.

So here goes...

take this walk with me.

Because we can't get back to him alone.

If you are in a place to fast for me this weekend,

we are fasting to get into a pancreatic specialist in South Carolina.

(it is like applying to college all over again)

Guess he has some fancy stuff that can fix me.

God willing:)