not leaving on a jet train

last night bags were packed, lists were written, snacks were packaged and ready for the many kind people that graciously offered to take care of our kids.  But my gut was sick, head spinning...confusion set in like vertigo.
I was not supposed to go....that is what I keep feeling....over and over.
who knows why?  We never do.
so here I am in my messy house visiualizing Garrett surfing in the sun and posssibly accepting a job, that would change our life as we know it....all alone.

And to you my dear sweet love...go with your heart...I will follow you anywhere, as long as we have each other.  You are my joy, the smile on my face...the beat in my heart....oh where would I be without you.
I love you Garrett.
Always